I have recently discovered that my most productive writing time is from about 10 am to 3 pm. Unfortunately, I work my day job during this magical time. So rather than focusing on my job, my head is full of story. My fingers itch to type. My characters are practically yelling in my head. “I will not be ignored, Mel!”
<Long sigh> Hold that thought, I think. Just wait a couple hours and then I will write down everything you’re saying.
I end up with scraps of paper with hastily scrawled dialogue and notes like “Need last straw moment” and “Response too corny?”, which I set aside and then get back to work.
Most days by the time I get home after having dealt with my job, traffic, emails from that annoying chick from corporate billing (quotation marks are NOT used to emphasis a word!!!), and people in general, I am exhausted. Weary in both body and mind. I use the last of my reserves to feed myself, shower, and pull on pjs before grabbing a book and settling in with some music and an adult beverage to winddown so I can get a decent night’s sleep.
I sometimes hesitate when I pass by my desk and glide my hand lovingly over my laptop or folder that I keep my current editing project in. I think about firing it up. I think about pulling out my red pen and getting to work. But, more often than not, that brief motivation withers away in the span of time it takes the thought to cross my mind and I continue on. My guilt at not paying attention to my characters whipping me in the back of the head.
I feel like I lose something brilliant in those moments. Like if I could have just brought myself to follow through, I would have written the most amazing piece of prose that has ever been written. But, alas, I don’t and it just vanishes. Lost to the ether forever.
A bit dramatic a response perhaps, and probably not true, but it feels like it.
If I do manage to scrape up some wherewithal to write, I then sit with those quickly written notes trying desperately to remember what I was referring to and which story it belongs in. It may or may not come to me. I start typing and my words are rarely great. Sometimes they are mediocre. Sometimes I type out some of the most atrocious crap ever written and force myself not to immediately delete it because in my more brilliant moments I might be able to salvage the intent behind it and turn the rough words into a gem. Because I do have brilliant moments, they just don’t happen as often as I wish.
There is no simple solution for it. There are solutions that sound simple, but I assure you, they are not. Believe me, if they were, I wouldn’t be writing this article right now. I would be writing “5 Simple solutions to bump up your word count!”
For now, I write when I can, where I can, and however I can. The brilliant, the atrocious, and the mediocre. Because as long as I’m writing, it all counts. Besides, that’s what first drafts are for, right?
Originally published at https://www.melasheywrites.com on March 12, 2021.
