I had a dream last night…
I opened my eyes to a dance club. It was loud and chaotic. Electronica with a heavy bass pounded through the room. Laser lights flashed and half naked bodies writhed on the dance floor, trying to keep up with the frantic beat. They all smiled almost manically as if the expression were forced onto their faces through shear will. Some noticed as I moved past them, but most ignored me completely.
I didn’t belong. They knew it. I knew it. I skittered through the club, skirting the edge until I reached a stairwell. I jumped unto the stairs away from the desperate movement taking refuge in the still darkness.
The old wooden steps were worn smooth from generations of feet; the banister silky under my hand. The light was so dim I could barely see where I placed my feet, but I moved confidently as if I’d climbed the stairs hundreds of times. As I ascended, the music from below faded away until all that remained was a slow sinuous beat. Smooth and pulsing in time with my footsteps.
I reached the first landing and turned my head to the right as I continued to move. Beyond an arched entrance was a large ballroom completely devoid of furniture. Only the moonlight coming through the windows illuminated the space. The floor was dark and velvety in the dim light and sent defused rays sliding back into the air giving the entire space a soft, bluish-white glow.
Just inside the archway, to the left, a man sat at a bar height, small, round table. One foot sat firmly on the ground, while the other was propped on the bottom rung of his stool. One arm lay on the table, the other rested on his raised thigh. He was in silhouette, the moonlight throwing blue highlights on parts of his body. His right arm and shoulder, the brim of a cowboy hat that sat on his head, the right knee of his propped-up leg. He sat motionless, silent, and just watched me as I walked past. Cool, calm, patient. Like he had been waiting for me. But I didn’t approach him. I wasn’t ready.
I took all this in during the few moments it took me to pass in front of the entrance as I continued up the stairs. The stairwell grew darker still until I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face, but still, I moved confidently. No hesitation in my steps. No stumbling on the unseen stairs. When I got to the top, I paused a moment in front of a door. Light shone through the cracks between it and the wall. I took a breath to steady myself and then pushed the door open and stepped through into a restaurant. The room was filled with the sounds of laughter and the general noise of a bustling restaurant. It reminded me of an old pub, all polished wood and brass.
A woman stood behind a table full of people on the other side of a banister from me. She smiled when she saw me, beckoned me to come over. I smiled back and gave a small shake of my head. She nodded in understanding and I gave her a halfhearted wave as I kept moving.
I walked the length of the restaurant finally stopping at a window at the far end. I looked out into the night. Two stories below, was a typical city street. I watched as people and cars passed by going about their normal lives with me far removed from them.
After a while, I felt a presence come up behind me. I smiled and knew it was the man from the ballroom.
“There you are,” he said. He voice was a rich baritone. One of those voices that you want to curl up inside. His tone was gentle and amused. I started to turn, but he put a restraining hand on my shoulder. And then we just stood there, looking out the window, his hand resting lightly on my shoulder the whole time.
Vivid dreams are not new to me. I have them all the time, but every once and a while, I have one that stands out. They feel so profound that I need to write them down. This was one of those dreams that felt almost prophetic. It left me with so many questions. Where was I? Why did I feel more at home in the dark of the staircase than in the brightly lit club below? Who was the woman and why was she so accepting of my not chatting with her? Who was this man who made me feel so safe and off balanced at the same time?
I will never get answers. But that is the nature of dreams.
